FUNERALS
Funeral Service
A funeral marks the close of a human life on earth. It is the opportunity for friends and family to express their grief, to give thanks for the life which has now completed its journey in this world and to commend the person into God’s keeping. As far back into history as we can penetrate, human beings seem to have felt the need for a ceremonial leave-taking of those who have died.
The funeral service of the Church of England can be very short and quiet with only a few members of the family present or an occasion of great solemnity with music, hymns and a packed church.
The funeral service will reflect the personality of the one who has died and the circumstances of their death. Feelings of grief, gratitude, joy and sadness often intermingle. Sometimes, a sense of tragedy is uppermost, especially when it is a young person who has died. When it is the end of a long and fruitful life, the feelings of thanksgiving can be strongest. There are times when the death of a faithful Christian seems to be the consummation of all they have lived for and the funeral service is a triumphal departure for their true home.
Funeral services always raise profound questions about the meaning of life and death. Jesus himself believed in a life-giving God: ‘the God of the living, not of the dead’. Christians believe that Christ's resurrection is the triumph of good over evil and of life over death and has made eternal life available to us.
All through history, Christian doctrine has wrestled with the mysteries which are known as the four last things: heaven, hell, death and judgement. We know that everybody will be judged by God and the relationship between God’s love and His judgement and mercy is one of the constant themes of Christian writing. What heaven is like, none of us dare say too precisely but we know that we shall delight in the presence and love of God and of the whole company of heaven. Whatever is wonderful about life here on earth is only a glimpse of the glory of the life that is to come. Most Christians would describe hell as separation from that love of God. The separation is never what God wants, it is our own responsibility. But what happens after we die remains a mystery.
The Funeral Service
The order can be flexible but usually has the following elements: Sentences as the coffin is brought into church Introduction and welcome A hymn or song A brief tribute Prayers Reading(s) and a brief sermon A hymn Prayers ending with the Lord’s Prayer Commendation and Farewell The committal which takes place either at the graveside or, in the case of a cremation, in the crematorium chapel or at the hearse before it leaves for the crematorium.
Services in the Upper Itchen parishes
The rector, or another priest, or sometimes a reader, will be happy to take a service in any of the parish churches or at the crematorium. Everyone who lives in this benefice has a right to a funeral service and to burial in their local churchyard. (At Hinton Ampner the churchyard is full and burials now take place in the burial ground which is situated half way down Hinton Hill.) In cases of a cremation, the ashes may be interred in the local churchyard where there is a designated area. This may take place the next day or whenever appropriate. We encourage everyone to leave some guidelines, perhaps with their will, giving an indication of whether they would prefer burial or cremation, favourite hymns and Bible readings, and other guidance to help their family at a time of great upset. Naturally these wishes will be observed as much as possible. As soon as possible please make contact with the rector, and he or the minister who is taking the service will visit promptly and help you plan the service, whether this is in church or at the crematorium. This is an important part of our work, and we will give families as much time as necessary in their time of loss. One of our parish visitors is willing to call after the service to offer continued support. Funeral directors are also a great strength and with their experience can offer much good advice. We are very fortunate with the undertakers who arrange funerals in this benefice.
What does it Cost?
Like weddings, the Church of England has set statutory fees. This will be paid as part of the undertakers’ account and only represent a relatively small part of the cost of a funeral. The following figures provide a guide for various alternatives (2007):
Funeral Service in church £96.00
Burial in churchyard following service £184.00
Service in crematorium £96.00
Burial of cremated remains in churchyard £110.00
These fees are set to reflect the cost of ministry and church upkeep.
The cost of an organist is an extra £45.
Of course there are additional charges made by undertakers and crematoria.
All Souls’ Commemoration
For several years now we invite the families of those whose loved one has died in the previous year or two to attend an annual service of remembrance on All Souls’ Day, 2nd November, usually at Hinton Ampner Church . The names of all those remembered are read out within the service and relatives come forward and light a candle. Many also bring a single lily and add it to a display near the candle-stand, so that in the quietness of the occasion we can breathe the fragrance and remember those who have gone before us into God’s eternal care.